Trying to keep the big picture in sight, but not doing so well.

Just got a call from school. Oldest Girl Child left her lunch at home.

They are having sloppy joes today. She hates sloppy joes. That's why she decided last night to pack her lunch today.

The school called to ask if I was going to bring her lunch to her. I had the principal on the phone with me, and I had to decide right then if I was going to make her eat sloppy joes, or climb in the car and bring her lunch.

She's going to be eating sloppy joes for lunch.

I am consumed with guilt. I am picturing a desperately unhappy little girl, who is convinced her mommy doesn't love her and is crying because she thinks the world has fallen down around her shoulders. I am practically clutching my chair to keep from jumping up and running out the door to save her by bringing her lunch. I feel like the worst mommy in the world.

I have thought this out before. She has even asked me before if I would bring her lunch if she forgot it, and I told her I wouldn't. This is one of those little, painful lessons that life gives us, that help protect us from the big, excruciatingly horrible lessons later down the road, I remind myself. Sloppy joes will not hurt her. Being a little hungry when she comes home from school will not hurt her. Learning to pay attention to what she's doing as she gets ready, instead of floating around in a sea of attractive distractions, is important.

And I am stupid to be crying just because I decided not to bring my daughter her lunch.

Friday, March 27, 2009 | Labels: , |

 

2 comments:

Ethan said...

I don't know. Personally, I consider sloppy joes to be cruel and unusual punishment. I still refuse to eat them :).

March 27, 2009 at 6:59 PM  
Cari Hislop said...

You did the right thing. I send you a big e-hug! The situation brings to mind all the times Father has told me..."Don't do this or that will happen." And I do this anyway...and then that happens and I feel stupid and want to scream and I can only blame myself. :)

As for sloppy joes your daughter and brother clearly have good taste...I disliked sloppy Joes as well...they were too sweet (and I'm a sugar holic)...but I ate them...becuase they tasted better than my mother's food...it's all relative I suppose. :)

March 28, 2009 at 4:53 AM  

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