A Jen Too Many

If you are one of those people who frequently find they've gotten too busy to breath, because they can't say no, you might be interested in this list of 20 Ways to Say No.

Unfortunately, there aren't any tips on how to say no when the cashier ringing up my groceries asks me if I want to donate any money to support the latest worthy cause. I mean, what am I supposed to say when I get ambushed just as I pull out my wallet?

• "Sorry, I donated elsewhere."
• "No, because I need all my grocery money to feed my family."
• "Sorry, but no, because I'm an evil, greedy, selfish witch who doesn't care about the terminally ill."
• "I'm so sorry, I'd love to, but my husband's paycheck didn't get direct deposited this week. We're living on our limited savings while the bank and his employer try to figure out what happened, and I need every penny I can scrape together to make our house payment. I'm hoping they won't turn off our electricity before we find the paycheck."
• "I can't, because I'm using all my extra money to cover the deductible for my own family's medical bills."
• "No, because you put the names of the people who donate money on the little balloons / shamrocks / puppies in your window and I believe in donating anonymously."
• "Sorry, but I can't afford to donate even $1 to save adorable children who desperately need more money for research on their tragic illness. I'm saving all my money to buy a Dalmatian fur coat."
• "I'd love to! As soon as you tell me how much of my dollar is going to research and how much is going to administrative costs."
• "Umm, errr, uhhh ... Look! Space aliens!"

I never can seem to just say, "No, thank you." I stammer and stutter out a no, feeling like I have to justify why I can't donate a lousy dollar, and then slink away feeling like a rat, worrying about what the high school student who just rang me up is thinking of me.*

It's enough to make me stop shopping.
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*A quick justification, lest I sound like a evil, selfish, greedy witch who doesn't care about adorable terminally ill children, babies, kittens and puppies - I do donate to worthy causes. Just not at the grocery store.