A Jen Too Many

It is currently snowing. We are told we can expect as much as another foot. My sweetheart gets to stay home from work tomorrow. The girls and I played Set this evening. Oldest Girl Child is incredibly good at it. I barely won the first round, which is pretty amazing when you consider that her age is measured in the single digits still and I am ... well ... old, OK?

Somebody stopped by yesterday and offered to finish shoveling our driveway for $25. I couldn't say, "Yes," fast enough and was tempted to throw myself at his feet in gratitude. The Boy Child, who would normally be earning the shoveling cash, has cleverly vanished from home for the last week and we have not heard from him. I am sure he will reappear once the snowstorms are safely out of the way and the driveway is cleared for good (or until next winter.)

No more school for the rest of the week. Youngest Girl Child got her snow week homework out of the way already, but she only had a couple of things to do. OGC has a whole package of papers and is starting to get snarly about the whole process of being required to do a small amount every day.

I thought about going to the store today to pick up a few things we are low on, but my sweetheart went out to pick himself up some soda and came home with the report that the roads are still very slick. So I decided we were fine for the rest of the week with what we have. Besides, judging from the photos I got in my email this afternoon, there is no point to going to the store right now - I have more in my pantry than they do on their shelves. (Note: These are not my photos. They are just a couple of the ones I was sent.)

Pictures of our recent snowstorm. We got about 2 1/2 feet, which is nothing to those of you in Idaho, Utah and other parts west, but is a huge amount here. They shut down school Friday in anticipation of the snow, canceled church today, and have canceled school for the first part of this next week and we may yet wind up having school canceled for the entire week. My sweetheart was told when he left work Thursday not to come in Friday, and has heard that his workplace is closed Monday, too.

It's been a very relaxing weekend for us. Except for the whole snow shoveling thing, that is. On the bright side, I'm sure my biceps are much more developed than they were Friday morning!

The girls are beside themselves with glee. They have never been in snow up to their knees before. and are wallowing in it (deliberately, that is, not because they've fallen and are stuck.) I told them that their Grandma's house gets this much snow all the time and now they want to fly cross-country several times a winter.

On a more serious note, I have been thinking a lot about the phrase, "If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." Disasters, large and small, are part of life, and I try to keep my family prepared for most of the calamities that I can think of. Because of that, this has turned out to be a nice little mini-vacation for us. We didn't have to hurry and get to the store before all the bread and milk were gone. We haven't had to worry about what we would do if we lost our electricity. We had a plan for frozen pipes. Being ready for the unexpected brought me much peace of mind this weekend.

The only thing I would change is to have bought a snowblower last fall. Excuse me. I need to go take some more aspirin. Can anyone help me get the lid off the aspirin bottle?

We almost didn't make it to midnight last night. Their father and I spent the last half hour of 2009 chivvying the girls into staying awake. Well, kind of. I kept telling them that they were free to go to bed if they wanted to, and he kept reminding them that it was only a few more minutes until the new year. They really, really wanted to blow their horns, so they made it, but they were tucked in bed and asleep just a few minutes later.

It's so funny to watch small people trying to stay awake. We followed a tradition that I loved from when I was a kid. We spent New Year's Eve eating chips and dip and playing games. (I highly recommend Sleeping Queens - got it on sale and am glad I did so. A great game! Especially good for princess loving little girls.) The games went well, the junk food was greeted with joy, the root beer floats overloaded their little systems and left Youngest Girl Child complaining that she didn't feel good. Although I think that was also simple exhaustion.

Girl Child was slumped in a corner of the couch, glassy-eyed, staring at the TV while she waited for the ball to drop in Times Square. (She was very disappointed to find out that it wasn't literally dropped.) YGC insisted on cuddling with me on my bed, wrapped up in a comforter. She had discernible dark gray half moons under her eyes and clung relentlessly until five minutes to midnight when both the girls perked up, decked themselves out in hats and cardboard tiaras and sat glued to the countdown, clutching their horns.

The ball dropped, much noise ensued here, the dog started barking wildly in response, the girls laughed at the dog, OGC protested that she hadn't seen the ball drop, we rewound and showed her that it wasn't actually "dropped" but lowered carefully, and then everyone got hustled off to bed, much to Mommy and Daddy's relief, because we were tired, too.

This morning, we all slept in.

Best Christmas present ever:

The Light of My Life has today off.

Conversation between the girls, while playing around and under the Christmas tree, with various dolls and sundry stuffed animals:

Youngest Girl Child: Attend (translated: pretend) we had a sleepover

Oldest Girl Child: So we can wear our capes!

YGC: Yes.

OGC: The kitty is alright!

YGC: Attend your kitty liked it

OGC: Does she like it? I'm glad.

YGC: Attend she has to stay in the cage. (pause) Santa came last night!

OGC: He did? Is she alright? Did you see Santa? Tell me you didn't!

YGC: I did! Just kidding!

OGC: Come 'ere girl. (gasp) You kicked her! Just kidding. (to the stuffed cat) You need to be washed! You have fleas. Friend, can you hold her still? Kitty! Don't worry, it's gone. Now!

YGC: I'll hold her. Meow, meow, meow. Attend you messed her up.

OGC: Meow, meow, meow. You've got to shake her!

YGC: Attend she didn't like it and she was crying.

OGC: She's hiding. (to the stuffed cat) Don't worry! We'll fix it! Pretend when she said that she came right back up. (to the stuffed cat again) It looks like you like it. (brushing the cat's hair)

(discussion about the right way to brush a cat)

OGC: Pretend this is her home

YGC: And her kittens slept in the Christmas tree. Attend her kitten was sleeping.

Continuing on like this for quite some time...

The Little Demon Up The Street was here this morning. There has been snow (much excitement!) and they played outside, then inside, then outside again. Then Oldest Girl Child asked if she could go play at TLD's house. I told her, "No." She accepted it, albeit with a pout, and went back outside.

I just went to check on them and there is no sign of any children. I have no idea where my children are, but I'm willing to be they're inside TLD's house again.

I hate, hate, hate this. I don't want to have to be harsh with her. I've re-evaluated my stance again and again, but I can't see that I am being unreasonable. I need to know where she is. I need to know if she's inside someone's house. I cannot let her run wild around the neighborhood without accountability. The world is just too dangerous for that. All I ask is that she let me know where she is. I try to keep the Nos to a minimum. She still is fighting me on this, though.

I have to figure out what to do next. I have no idea what consequence to use next. She was grounded for a week this last time. Do I make her start checking in with me every 15 minutes? Ground her for longer? When I was little, I would have gotten a hairbrush, belt or wooden spoon to the bottom for this kind of behavior. I don't agree with that kind of punishment, but I do have to say it had its advantages. I would have been much too frightened to pull this sort of stunt (at least not twice.) But ruling that out still leaves me with a problem - how do I convince her to obey me without terrorizing her?

Can I quit this gig? Just go have a nice easy career solving world hunger, finding a cure for mental illness, or discovering the key to Faster Than Light travel? 'Cause that would be simpler than trying to raise my children to be responsible, capable adults, I think. Easier than trying to teach them to be independent while keeping them safe.

Or maybe I'll just go hit my head with a hammer. It'll make a nice change of pace.

So, y'know, the question of the day is - How do I keep my sweet, darling, precious little angel from being sullied by her association with that nasty little hooligan over there, who is constantly finding ways to lure my little snookums into terrible acts of deception, manipulation, disrespect and general misbehavior?

No, really. Stop laughing, guys. I am serious!! How the heck do I keep my kid away from the bad influence of The Little Demon Up The Street? I have been wrestling with this all week.

The other day Oldest Girl Child went up the street to play with TLD. I had specifically told her that I didn't want her going inside to play. I wanted her to play outside. It wasn't that cold and after being in school all week she needed the exercise. Besides, playing inside with TLD tends to lead to trouble. Like the Nail Polish Incident. And the Deliberately Running Away And Excluding Youngest Girl Child Incident. Not to mention the TLD Lying To OGC And YGC About People Being Mad At Them Incident. And a host of other Incidents.

That day, I wanted to surprise the girls with a movie (a real movie, in a real theater with popcorn, even) so when it was time to go I went outside to call OGC home. There was no sign of her, so I went and knocked on TLD's door. There she was, inside, a guilty look on her face, absolutely and completely busted.

I talked with her when we got home. I was very calm and patient, but firm. (Really, I was. I didn't yell once. Not even a little bit.) I talked with The Love of My Life and Father of My Children and we agreed that grounding was appropriate. We did allow her to go to the movie with me and YGC since that is an unusual treat and it seemed overkill to take it away, but we gave her a choice. She could have a couple of extra days of being grounded, or she could stay home from the movie. (She chose the movie and the extra days of grounding, obviously.)

When we got home from the movie, OGC had a quiet talk with her father about the importance of obeying us and the dangers of going somewhere without telling us. Afterward he came to me, rather shaken up. He had gotten his first ever serious rebellion from OGC. As he described it to me, she wasn't bored, or distracted. She was flat out rebellious, taking a you-are-so-stupid-attitude toward him.

He wanted her to never play with TLD again, feeling that this attitude was not natural to OGC, but something she had picked up from her friend. Now, I've been thinking this same thing for awhile. As I said before, there have been a number of incidents with TLD that have more than alarmed me. I haven't felt comfortable with just banning her, though. I thought that would provoke further rebellion, and I wasn't sure how well I could enforce that rule since she just lives a few houses away. I did not want OGC playing up there with her anymore, though, since my attempts to keep control of the situation have been so easily undermined.

Soooo... We've been thinking this over this week. I expressed the feeling that we were looking at two ends of the spectrum, and we needed to find a third solution. Not to ban TLD forever, and not to let the situation (clearly a negative one) continue, but something else, something in between the two extremes. After thinking it over, and talking with a few people I trust, this is what we came up with:

She can keep playing with TLD, but it has to be over here, where I can supervise the situation. I even managed to put it to her in a way that didn't upset her. I explained that TLD's parents have a different way of looking at the world than we do, and it's not fair to expect them to make sure that OGC makes the sort of choices that we think are appropriate. Therefore, since our standards are the stricter, and since she plays over there so much anyway, it would only be fair to have TLD play over here. That would make things easier for TLD's parents, and give them a break from always having the kids there.

I am hoping, honestly, that TLD will not want to play here. If she does come over, though, I will make sure I stay in the same room as the girls and aggressively monitor what is happening. That will let me break up any bad behavior before it gets a foothold, not to mention allowing me to keep my peace of mind.

Can we do this? Can we Provide A Good Influence? Tame the Demon? Teach her to Play Nicely and Tell The Truth?

Time Will Tell ...

There was much sorrow in our house this morning. School was not cancelled.

There was great hope for a cancellation, since the weather forecasters were predicting an ice storm that would have shut everything down for at least the morning, but nothing of the sort happened, and everyone headed off to work and school this morning just as normal.

"School is not so fun!" Oldest Girl Child complained to me after the umpteenth time of checking the school website did not reveal a new message cancelling everything. I gave her my mini-lecture about the importance of school, that fun isn't the most important thing in the world, and her job right now is learning. And I'm sure it really sunk in, this time. I swear - she listened intently. Really!

Yes! The oven is still working! The house has not burned down! The turkey cooked faster than I expected!

OK, so maybe that last isn't such good news. But it's amazing how much better the oven works now that it has a new bake element. I hadn't realized just how much the temperatures were off with the old element. The Love of My Life tells me that next time I will know what is happening when the oven starts to heat erratically and I just replace the element before it melts all over the interior. I told him that next time that happens I would rather just buy a new oven ...

We had a nice Thanksgiving. I hope you all did, too! And now I can say:

That's right! The vacuum is a major appliance, too. Silly me. I guess it felt left out? That makes three broken appliances this week. Who cursed me?

We'll see if this works.

Posting through my phone because the computer is not currently working. Neither is the oven, which needs a new element.

I am seriously considering replacing the water heater as a preemptive strike, as it is the only major household appliance we have not had to repair in the last year, and it is probably only a matter of time.

(I do NOT like trying to type on a cell phone keyboard.)

We will be offline for an indefinite period.

I am living in terror. Now that everything from the car to the fridge has gone kaput, what's next? An alien invasion?

I need to blog. I really, really do. I have neglected the blog shamefully for the past couple of weeks. And I have things to say, I really do. In fact, I've taken to noting them down, listing the ideas as they hit me.

Someday I might actually do something with those ideas. Today, however, and probably for the next little while to come, every time I sit down to write all I can think about is, "School! My baay beee!!" and then my stomach gets all tight and I have to fight off tears.

I am such a wimp.

But, oh! She is so soft and cuddly and warm! She fits so perfectly on my lap. She is going to be gone All Day Long. She will come home talking about friends who are only names to me. She will have all sorts of experiences that I will never know about. She will have problems and have to solve them all by herself, because I won't be there.

This is good for her. This is good for her. Keep chanting that, Jennifer. This is good for her!

It just stinks for me.

Because I am a wimp.

Yes, yes, I have mixed feelings about Youngest Girl Child going off to school. We all knew this was coming. No matter how excited I get about once again having a life that does not involve being continually on stage, having to scrutinize myself constantly to assess the example I am presenting, I am still letting my baaay beeee! (sob) go away from me for hours and hours a day, five days a week, into the care of strangers who will surely not care nearly as much about her sensitive nature and tender heart as I do.

And today I found out that it's all going to be four hours a week longer than I thought it would be.

I still haven't gotten anything telling me who YGC's teacher will be, so I was nosing around the school district's website, trying to find out if the letters have gone out yet. I noticed the new bus schedules were up, so I clicked on it to confirm what time the bus will hit our stop, and if the stop is going to be in the same place as last year.

The bus will be using the same stops as last year. The pick up and drop off times have changed dramatically. The girls will have to be at the bus stop 20 minutes earlier in the morning. They will be dropped off 30 minutes later. That's an extra 50 minutes a day on the bus.

It wouldn't be so bad, except that my kids are one of the first stops in the morning. In the afternoon, the bus takes the same route, in reverse, which means my kids are one of the last stops in the afternoon. In other words, the bus turns left in the morning, after entering the subdivision, and right in the afternoon, so that the kids who get picked up last in the morning are the kids who get dropped off first in the afternoon.

This annoys me. Very, very much. I intensely dislike how much time the schools claim out of my childrens' lives as it is, and now they're taking another hour a day. For no good reason! It's not like I can't make good use of this time. I've got quite a bit for them to do every day, and only so long before bedtime to get them through homework, chores, outside play time, dinner, and family socializing. I'd like to start Oldest Girl Child on piano lessons this year, which adds another daily commitment. And how am I supposed to find the time to let them take some other kind of lessons, like ballet, without pushing bedtime back - which I am not willing to do?

I'll have to think this over for a few days, make sure I'm not emotional about it anymore, and then maybe call the school district and ask them to reconsider the first on / last off thing. Could we at least have the first kids on in the morning be the first kids off in the afternoon?

One of The Boy Child's best friends is getting married, so I've been going through the loving couple's online registry this afternoon gauging how much we can afford to spend on a present (and rather surprised at the modesty of their list - the most expensive thing on there is a $100 vacuum.)

Funny story - years and years ago, before dinosaurs walked the earth, I had a roommate who was getting married. She was in college and all our friend were either in college or working for minimum wage. In other words, everyone we knew was as broke as we were. The week she got married there was a sale on drinking glasses (six to a package) at one of the local discount stores. Sure enough, when she was opening presents after the reception she found that she'd gotten 14 dozen sets of glasses! (And boy, wasn't I relieved I'd gotten something else? I actually had considered those glasses ...)

When The Love of My Life and I got married we kept things very small. We weren't even planning on having a reception, but a friend decided we needed to have one and threw us a small open house at her home. We wound up getting something like 10 presents out of it, several of which were broken. It wasn't a statement on anyone's feelings about the marriage, honestly. It was just a funny coincidence. To this day I have a beautiful cobalt blue pottery bowl with a long, thin crack in it that I am very careful to never use for anything heavier than dried flowers.

Do you have any funny wedding present stories? Share them in the comments!

So we wound up getting the new transmission instead of the used one, because we realized we didn't know how many miles would be on an old transmission and what was the use of getting the transmission replaced if we were just putting in something that was also going to run out of miles soon, too?

Which turns out to be a good thing.

Yesterday, driving home from church, the car gave a huge jerk / lurch. I thought I'd hit something - something big, like a log in the middle of the road. I looked in the rearview mirror to try to see what I'd just run over, but saw only the car behind me (way too close - my momentary hitch had caused them to nearly hit me.)

I drove on for a little bit, feeling that premonitory "How expensive is this going to be?" churning inside. Sure enough, when I had to slow down a few blocks later I heard strange noises as I tried to get back up to the speed limit. Which is when I started sending loving thoughts to my fantastic mechanic, who had urged us to get the new transmission with the 3 year / 100,000 miles / all parts and labor covered warranty.

Because it was the transmission. Yeah. The transmission. Not the engine. No, no, no, no, not the engine.

I made it safely home (hooray!) but when my beloved tested the car later he confirmed that I'd been lucky not to be stranded by the side of the road. The car starts, but it won't go into reverse. Or rather, it will shift into reverse, it just won't move. He didn't check to see if it would go forward - we have enough problems without crashing into the house.

All of which leaves me sitting here, waiting for 8 a.m. so that I can call our mechanic and arrange to have a tow truck come pick up my poor van.

It was two weeks to get it back last time. We have 3 1/2 weeks of summer vacation left. So much for fun day trips. I guess we'll spend a lot of time playing in the wading pool, instead.

Unscheduled time is good for kids, right? Right?

According to Youngest Girl Child, it is impossible for her to sleep, "...because it's too dark." This just scant hours after having told us that she was too tired to participate in Family Home Evening. She was too tired, she informed us, "...because I didn't get enough exercise today."

Recently YGC has taken to staying up until around 11 p.m, which means that at least one of her parents also gets to stay up, as a deterrent to naughtiness and dangerous behavior. (If you have children you have no need to ask, "What dangerous behavior?" If you are unfamiliar with this miniature form of the human species, allow me merely to point out - 1) Complete mobility, 2) No experience to speak of, 3) Judgment that measures somewhere in the negative numbers, 4) A degree of impulsiveness that makes a butterfly look like a tortoise.)

The Love of My Life and Father of My Children has just gone to bed after informing me that, "I'd have had children just for the comedy value." He has been dealing with YGC's excuses ever since her bedtime, while I cravenly escaped to our room, where I spent the evening leisurely reclining upon the pillows, reading science fiction and enjoying myself hugely.

It is 10:30 p.m. Do you know where your children are? Mine is lurking in her bedroom doorway, trying to find a way to convince me to let her come out and watch TV.

My old template broke. I couldn't figure out how to fix it. There was no reason for it to be broken and nothing I tried produced any magical improvements. So, I've given up. I'm going to be working on something prettier and better, but for right now, this will have to do.

Because it's always good when people can actually see the words you've put down on the computer screen.

More financial disaster. Now we need a new transmission for the car I drive. $1,750 for a used transmission (which does not include the cost of labor), or $2,550 for a new transmission, good for 100,000 miles (and the price includes labor).

Except that my car has (last I checked) 88,000 miles on it. Since I don't use it for much - just to the grocery store, doctor appointments, driving kids here and there, much of a muchness - the mileage doesn't matter. If it will last just another couple of years (where have I heard that before?) we'll be better able to afford a replacement. So I need to check on the cost of labor for the used transmission and if it's more than, say, four or five hundred dollars less than the new transmission, we'll get the used transmission. And put a whole heck of a lot of money on our credit card again.

Yep. Two steps forward, two steps back. Shall we dance?

The context: It had been a long day and she was tired.

Oldest Girl Child: (sobbing)

Mommy: Honey, what's wrong?

OGC: I don't want my hair to change!

Mommy: What?

OGC: When I get old! My hair will lose its color! (increased sobbing)

Mommy: (goes into a long and rather frantic explanation of hair coloring techniques, the beauties of graying hair, and a rather sheepish explanation that it's simple vanity that has me coloring my gray)

****************

The context: None. This came out of the clear blue sky for no reason that I can discern whatsoever.

Youngest Girl Child: (cheerfully bouncing on the bed) I'm never going to move out! When I grow up I'm going to live with you, Mommy, until I'm dead! Dead, dead, dead!

Mommy: (thinking that she's going to get a nasty shock on her 18th birthday if she doesn't grow out of this idea pretty quickly)

I made a quick run with the girls to the grocery store last Saturday. They were wildly excited about the holiday and, before we'd gotten past the bakery section, were dashing wildly about playing some sort of running and shrieking game. They were admonished once as we passed the deli, twice in the produce, and again when we went down the salad dressing and condiments aisle.

In the soup aisle, I'd finally had enough. I stopped, called them to me (this took a few repetitions) and calmly pointed out that, although the prospect of fireworks was very exciting, there were a few truths that they were not recalling:

1) Treats and toys must be earned; possession of them is dependent upon good behavior.
2) Bad behavior will lose them treats and toys.
3) The treats and toys (snakes and snappers from the fireworks stand) that were promised to them following the grocery store visit were in serious jeopardy of being taken away.
4) It was in their best interests to calm down, stay near me, and play some game that was much quieter.

Halfway through my list, a shopper near us chuckled. As I finished I looked toward her and saw a white-haired woman watching us with a wide grin. She gave me a thumbs up and continued down the aisle, still chuckling to herself.

I was left feeling relieved I'd kept my temper and hadn't threatened anyone.* It's so much nicer, after all, when perfect strangers think you're a good mother.
___________________________________________

*I ran into an acquaintance at the store a few days before this, when I was doing our weekly shopping. She congratulated me on how well the girls were behaving. I confessed that she was only observing a momentary aberration and that the whining and fighting were driving me batty. She admitted in turn that she had been thinking of beating her four and then running over them with a truck. Ah, motherhood. It brings such joy. Such contentment. Such thoughts of violence.