A Jen Too Many

We are out of juice. Thirsty little people have drunk up everything that was in the pitcher on the table. Now it is dry and Mommy is refusing to allow anyone to make any more delicious fake sugar-free strawberry juice. At least part of this is because she is sick of the way they insist on licking out the little cup the juice mix comes in, and then walk around with red chins for the rest of the day.

So I am writing, trying very hard not to hear as they complain about not having anything to drink and assure me that death is imminent and they perish! They perish! Well, OK, maybe not actually using the word "perish".

And no, they cannot drink water, because that would cause the heavens to open and the world To Come To An End.

Mommy: Thirsty? Try water.

Oldest Girl Child (falls to ground gasping in horror, clutching throat): Water is yucky! I don't like water! Water will make me sick!*

Mommy: Well, you could try milk.

OGC (writhing in agony on the living room carpet): I'm thirsty! I don't want milk! Milk is yucky! ... Do we have chocolate milk?

Mommy: No. You can have plain white milk, or plain clear water.

It went downhill from there. I finally told her that if she wanted to scream and cry she was perfectly free to do so in her room.

I am so mean.
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*For the sake of posterity and future blackmail, allow me to point out that these were her actual statements and I am reporting this entire conversation word for word. For the sake of honesty, I admit I might have embellished a little bit on her actions. But only a little.