A Jen Too Many

Dear Santa,

My little sister wants me to write to you. I hope you don't mind; I know I'm asking for some very unusual items, but honestly, I find that the older I get, the harder it is to think of things I want to receive as presents.*

Here's my list:

1) A magic wand that will clean my house with one wave of my hand. Especially under the furniture, because stooping down to clean is getting problematic. It's not the stooping that's the problem - it's the getting up again later.

2) While we're at it, how about a little tiny amount - just the littlest, teeniest, bit - of water from the Fountain of Youth? Just a teaspoon or so. I don't want to be a teenager again. I'd just like to stand up from the floor without creaking too much.

3) Some of that water would go over well for my husband as well. If you give it to me, Santa, then I could give it to him, and it would be our little secret where it really came from, OK?**

4) Can you lay your hands on some spare wisdom? I don't know what happened. I was supposed to have a lot of it by this stage of my life, but it seems to have gotten lost in transit. I have way too many situations where I don't have a clue, especially with my children, so anything you can get me would be a big help.

5) Could that magic wand also make my children fall asleep 5 minutes after being put to bed? If that's not asking too much? And maybe keep them safe whenever they're out of my sight, too?

Thanks, Santa. I know you probably don't have any of this one hand, but hey, if my daughter can ask for Butterscotch, I can ask for something equally impossible, right? You won't mind. Right?

Jen
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*Usually because anything I might have put on a list I've already gone and bought for myself.

**I ask this because you wouldn't believe how difficult it is to buy for that man - you'd be giving me a really great present if you could help me get the perfect present for him.